A Change in Tomoyo
by Merry Muppet
Summary: [Manga, Tomoyo x Sakura] Li has returned from Hong Kong and the pain causes Tomoyo to realize that she can not be selfless and hide her feelings from Sakura any longer. [One shot. Onesided Shoujo ai.] First real fanfiction attempt, please read and review!


_It was field day at Tomoeda Elementary School. Sakura had recently captured the Flower and with the advice of Tomoyo, tried to mend ways with their parents by making Nadeshiko flowers rain down on them. In spite of Tomoyo's mother's resentment, Sakura felt cheerful._

"It sure looks like your mom loved my mom a lot too," Sakura said gleefully. "That makes me happy."

"Well you know. . ." Tomoyo said casually, "I love you a lot too, Sakura-chan."

Sakura, the naïve girl that she is, smiled and replied, "Hey, me too!"

The two looked to the distance. Sakura's older brother, Touya, was waving a broom and calling that the closing ceremonies were about to begin. As Sakura responded, Tomoyo said quietly, "I think we're talking about different kinds of love, Sakura."

"Did you say something?" Sakura asked innocently from ahead, already heading towards the others.

Tomoyo grabbed Sakura's shoulders and smiled. "Oh, ask me again in a few years."

Sakura looked at her questioningly but Tomoyo said nothing further. She grabbed Sakura's hand and headed off. . . 

_- - - - -_

Tomoyo rummaged through her collection of Sakura tapes gloomily. Over the years, her stock of tapes had accumulated to a near-unmanageable amount. The time had come to sort tapes of her precious Sakura, and possibly even to, she shuddered at the thought, throw some out. As she discovered a tape labeled "Sakura and Li", tears wet her eyes.

Tomoyo had always said that as long as the person she loved the most was happy, she would be happy too. That was such an easy thing to say when Sakura was in a one-sided relationship. Even while Syaoran was in Hong Kong, after they had confessed their love to each other, Tomoyo could remain happy. Syaoran was not around to flaunt their relationship, after all.

But now they were in junior high. Syaoran had just returned that morning and Sakura was positively ecstatic. They held hands during class and sat up against each other at lunch. Through it all, Tomoyo remained cheerful and videotaped Sakura when the situation allowed. Sakura wasn't even embarrassed as Tomoyo filmed; she was too caught up in her love for Syaoran. 

Tomoyo's past words stayed in her head all day, a reminder not to break down. But when she was home in her own room, she could no longer lie to herself. The selfless, almost inhuman, shell broke away from Tomoyo. She couldn't believe herself. Jealous! Jealous because the person she loves the most has found someone else. After all that support and care, a new side of her became unveiled.

"I am so sorry, Sakura," Tomoyo whispered to her tape.

She set the damp tape down and picked up another one labeled "Field Day, Grade Four". She smiled a wet smile and placed the tape into the VCR of her home theater system. A younger version of Sakura in an orange cheerleading dress and small pigtails performed her routine with the rest of the club. As the baton fell on Sakura's head, Tomoyo recalled the confession that she had made to Sakura that day. "_Ask me again in a few years," _she had said.

A terrible thought occurred to Tomoyo. She would confess her love again, only she would explain herself this time. It had been, after all, a few years. She knew it was terrible timing, that with Syaoran back and everything, but she could not contain it any longer. She could no longer go on with life cheerfully, thinking only of Sakura's happiness. She had to commit this selfish act, just this once. Rejection was inevitable, but she had to admit it. She could no longer contain it. It had been too long.

- - - - -

_The next day. . . _

"Sakura," Tomoyo said sweetly, smiling at the eating couple.

"What is it, Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura asked in that cute little voice that Tomoyo so adored. Tomoyo took a deep breath and smiled.

"Could I talk to you alone?" she asked, snagging a glance at Syaoran. Syaoran, however, did not seem to suspect anything and shrugged grumpily. 

Sakura blinked and got up. She grabbed Tomoyo's hand, as if they were still little girls, and followed Tomoyo to a spot under a tree. Tomoyo turned her face away from Sakura, cautious of her flushed cheeks giving her away before she had an opportunity so say something. This was of course a pointless gesture, as Sakura was to naïve of a person to understand the reason for Tomoyo's red face.

"What is it?" Sakura asked.

"Sakura-chan. . . Do you remember Field Day in fourth grade?" Tomoyo began casually.

"Hoe?" Sakura raised her emerald eyes to the sky for a second but nodded. "That was when I captured the Flower Card, right?"

Tomoyo nodded.

"Do you remember me telling you that I would explain something to you when you were older?" Tomoyo asked.

Sakura nodded, a cute puzzled expression flashing over her face.

Tomoyo took a deep breath. This wasn't the same as last time. This was different, this was far more difficult. "Sakura, I love you."

"I know!" Sakura said cheerfully, grabbing Tomoyo by the hand. "I love you too, Tomoyo-chan!"

Tomoyo smiled weakly and corrected her. "I am talking about a different type of love, Sakura-chan."

"H-h-hooee?" Sakura blushed, a sign that perhaps she understood more than before. Tomoyo looked down at their hands. Sakura's hands were loosening their grip around Tomoyo and felt wet from nervous sweat. "Wh-what do you mean, Tomoyo?" Sakura asked.

"I love you, Sakura, like. . . Like you love Li-kun." Tomoyo whispered.

Sakura's face turned, if possible, even redder. "I. . . I'm your number one person?" she squeaked. Tomoyo nodded. "I'm so sorry but. . . But I can't. . . I can't return your feelings. I love Syaoran."

Tomoyo nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Eh? Don't apologize!" Sakura said nervously.

"I shouldn't have told you. Not now. You're with Li-kun. . . And he only recently came back to Tomoeda. I said before that as long as the person I love is happy, than I am happy . . . "

"That was me?" Sakura asked in shock.

". . . But even though knowing this would not make you happy, might even ruin your happiness, I had to tell you. I've kept it inside for so long. . . I'm sorry Sakura, please just forget about this and be happy with Li."

"Please, don't be sorry. I know what it's like to be rejected," Sakura said sweetly and rather intelligently, thinking of her confession to Yukito. "I'm sorry that I have to hurt you."

Tomoyo smiled, though she cried inside. She laid a hand on Sakura's shoulder and said, "You have grown up so much, Sakura."

"Heh heh, thanks," Sakura said nervously, clearly feeling that this was not proper etiquette for rejection. 

Tomoyo smiled and nodded. She let go of Sakura's shoulder and looked at Syaoran, who was arguing with Kero-chan, not paying the least bit of attention to the girls' conversation. "Sakura. . . Could you do one thing for me?"

"Sure Tomoyo, anything I can do to make you feel better."

"Could you. . . Would you. . . let me kiss you? Just once. You have such a cute face. . . And I promise I will not bring this up again."

Sakura blinked in confusion but smiled weakly. After all, even Syaoran had not kissed her yet. "O-okay."

"Thank you," Tomoyo whispered, leaning into Sakura and giving her a light kiss on the cheek. Sakura's skin on her lips felt just as nice as she had anticipated. All of Tomoyo's sadness and jealousy melted away. All Tomoyo could feel was happiness at this moment, this moment at last.

Her whole life, she knew, would be recharged like a battery by this kiss. She could go back to being Sakura's number one supporter in life and love without a care for her own feelings, thanks to this one kiss. Tomoyo pulled away and smiled her usual cheerful smile. "You can go now," she said cheerfully.

Sakura blinked again at the sudden shift in mood but nodded. She smiled a goodbye to Tomoyo and returned to Syaoran. Just as Tomoyo had anticipated, she felt no sadness at this site. It actually made her happy. The old Tomoyo had returned.

_"For me, if the one I love most is happy, then so am I."_


End file.
